Meet Murph – a little Dragon Tree that I bought several years ago from Ikea. I have a notorious black thumb and healthy plants usually die under my care. I decided to challenge myself and bought this tiny plant in a 4 inch pot and set out to change the color of my thumb.
I had no idea that this little plant was going to teach me one of the most important lessons of my life thus far – you have to let go to grow.
Over the years, I’ve watched Murph grow. As he grows taller, he sheds leaves that he no longer needs and covers over the wounds with bark. That bark makes his cane stronger so that it can support his taller height. As he grows, the leaves become longer and heavier so the stronger canes need to be solid otherwise he’d topple over and die.
The leaves if I left them would decompose and whatever nutrients remained would return to the soil and fuel his continued growth. Even what he lets go of has continued value.
Murph taught me that:
Nature requires us to shed what is no longer needed in order to accept more what is.
We have to let go to grow.
This growth process can be uncomfortable – it’s sometimes hard to decide what patterns of behavior are no longer aligned with our growth.
- What relationships are holding you back more than they are encouraging you?
- What resources do you need to support you during this vulnerable growing time?
- What feels right to let go?
Plants need nutrients (fertilizer) during their growth periods to help ensure that they are strong enough to grow and are not weakened in the process, which can open them up to insect attacks and disease.
Young trees occasionally need braces to support their trunks during wind storms until their roots grow deeper.
Even what you let go of has continued value, can the leaves you release serve you in a different way?
For more information on how these types of questions can fuel your growth and improve your wealth, see Meet Your Money Tree.
While accepting help is an important part of survival and living, this exercise is not about learning to accept help.
This process of letting go to grow is about realizing that all of nature needs support during growth periods. It is actually natural to lean on something else – to steady you, to give you extra nutrients, to encourage you, to partner with you so that you both can grow, or just to witness and validate your beautiful growth process.
And perhaps most importantly, these supports can provide space and comfort for you to rest and integrate your growth experiences.
Our society has moved away from this idea of a village, an ecosystem of support where one person’s vulnerability allows for another person’s strengths to shine. Where in community, we all can thrive.
Nature doesn’t thrive when it’s all alone, why do we expect to?
Grow Your Village
As technology has advanced, we are given a new opportunity to build broader villages for ourselves. We are no longer restricted to just people and services within our local geographic area but now the world opens to us.
This allows us to harness the benefits of various time zones and accessing greater opportunities to schedule a virtual appointment. It allows us to access different perspectives and ways of thinking that can help us open to new possibilities that we never even considered.
Some of my favorite coaches and guides have actually been from overseas – I worked with one coach who lived in Australia and had a very different approach to her practice that did wonders for me. She really helped me evaluate my habits and behaviors so that I could figure out what I needed to let go of to grow.
I continue to work with another Nutritional Therapy Practitioner who lives in Italy and her perspectives on food and her experiences with it broaden my own perspectives and challenge my thinking about how food is woven into my life.
I don’t see these people as “helping” me but rather serving as the extra nutrients I need to fuel my continued expansion. They provide guidance, wisdom, new ideas and possibilities, they spark my curiosity which brings me clarity.
Growth is an ongoing process so regularly checking in with someone to help you evaluate what’s holding you back and what you need to let go of to grow is so important in finding stability and sustainability.
Who do you have in your village? Are they serving you well? Are they ready and able to support you while you grow? Do they sit with you during your fallow (rest) periods and help you process and integrate your experiences?
With all of the different options out there, it can be difficult to find what you need. Often people go through a process of googling, researching, scheduling phone calls, starting trials, and end up having spent a lot of time, energy and perhaps money not finding the right fit.
I’ve been there.
As an Advocate, I serve as a Guide to your various options. Think of me as a Librarian of sorts for your life – where you bring your questions and I locate information that you can use to find the answers. We can explore your options, delve deeper into your questions, and I can show you your options for a next step.
Then I can walk with you while you explore them – I can be there to steady and guide you, just as a young tree has supports so that strong winds don’t uproot it. And as you grow, I can watch you joyfully let go of the leaves you no longer need.
Once you’ve found your confidence, we can part – both having grown from the experience.
Interested in learning more about working with me? Let’s connect.
If you are happily growing and have found yourself planted in a thriving ecosystem, I’m sending you all of the happy growth vibes!