Authors: Bob Burg & John David Mann
Published Date: 2015
Average Time to Read Book: 3-4 hours
Chapter 13: Full Circle
I won’t spoil the ending for you but the authors do a fabulous job of uniting all of the different threads in this chapter. It ends on a high-note and left me smiling.
“There are the three universal reasons for working. Survive – to meet your basic living needs. Save – to go beyond your basic needs and expand your life. And Serve – to make a contribution to the world around you.”
“Money is not a measure of your goodness or your worthiness; it is a measure of your impact.”
How The Go-Giver Found Me
I truly believe that books find you when you need them.
Timing matters – you need to be open to receiving the message within books and your situation and environment is what helps you interrupt and contextualize the content.
I’ve been struggling lately with receiving.
Giving is so much easier because:
- Receiving means being vulnerable.
- Receiving can create a “debt.”
- Receiving can establish power over you.
So when I was hanging out on LinkedIn and a connection posted an offer –
I felt called to receive his offer.
I really love to read.
Title looked so good –
He only needed my address.
I’ll just buy the book myself I thought.
No need to receive this book from him.
I’m perfectly capable of buying my own book.
**I don’t want to be in his debt.**
I asked myself, “Is what you think true or are you scared?”
Vulnerability is hard. Really hard.
Trust is even harder.
So I sent him my address. I got the book. I read it.
It changed my life.
“The Go-Giver” shifted my entire perspective on the point of giving and receiving.
Who Would Benefit From Reading The Go-Giver?
I honestly think that everyone could benefit from reading “The Go-Giver”. It’s a relatively short (127 pages) book and an easy read – very conversational in its writing style.
No matter what you do in your life, you will always experience some kind of giving and receiving cycle. I found “The Go-Giver’s” message applicable to all of my relationships – the one with myself, the ones with others and even how I relate to God (The Divine) and The Universe.
“The Go-Giver” though is written with the working professional in mind, but you do not need to be employed to get value from this book.
Some of the scenarios and situations may make more sense if you’ve worked in a corporate job, but those experiences aren’t necessary in order to understand its message.
“The Go-Giver” would be particularly helpful for anyone who is:
- Trying to grow their network by connecting with others
- Wanting to deepen their relationships
- Exploring their options or seeking new opportunities
- Having trouble giving and receiving
Key Takeaways from The Go-Giver
Receiving is just as important as giving
Society talks endless about giving. Give to those in need, give to yourself, give to your family, give to your employer, give to God.
The giving message is talked about endlessly.
We only talk about receiving in the context of giving. Receiving on its own isn’t widely discussed.
Receiving also is from discussed from the point of view of having less than the person giving. If you need to receive something, you are incapable of doing it yourself.
The thought that arises from this traditional view of giving/receiving is: I am less than the person who is giving to me. That’s not a fun thought or a fun feeling.
“The Go-Giver” upends that thought and elevates the importance of receiving.
Giving is not positive (credit in The Universe) and receiving is not a negative (debit in The Universe).
The Go-Giver makes it clear that giving and receiving are equally important – you cannot have one without the other.
To think otherwise means that you are not giving or receiving.
Giving and receiving with expectations is an exchange.
True giving and receiving is a cycle or a process in which there are no expectations or trades.
Which is why the next realization is so important.
You cannot give without being able to receive
After realizing that giving and receiving are equally important, the next realization I had from The Go-Giver was that you must be able to receive in order to continue to give.
The whole: “You cannot give from an empty cup” saying actually gets put into practice in “The Go-Giver”. The main character, in allowing himself to receive wisdom, connections, and guidance is able to give those gift to others.
When you receive, you become a conduit of giving.
Receiving allows you to give authentically (not from Ego place)
For many, receiving can be uncomfortable.
Receiving requires humility, vulnerability, and self-compassion. Which is exactly why becoming more comfortable with receiving is so important because it makes you a better and more genuine giver.
Let’s say you give and rarely receive.
Maybe only receive if someone really pushes you to let them give you something.
Maybe you receive only to make someone else feel better.
First off, giving that way is completely unsustainable. You will run out of things to give and you will have to stop giving all together and say no.
It’s also coming from a place of Ego (I have more and therefore I can give to you who has less) and feels absolutely awful to the person receiving. You are unintentionally reminding them that they have less than you.
Receiving and feeling the feelings of humility, vulnerability and self-compassion help reduce the likelihood that you will give in this toxic way.
Secondly, the person receiving often wants to give something back to you to complete the process. When you refuse their gift or only take it because you feel obligated, you’re breaking the cycle.
Chick-Fil-A gets this idea entirely as they train their staff to say “My pleasure” when you say thank you.
Because it feels good. It feels good to be given something by one of their employees, you receive it and then give something back – a thank you.
They receive it and give something back to you – “My pleasure.”
I walk away from my interactions with Chick-Fil-A employees with a smile on my face and feeling better because the interaction feels whole and complete.
You can do the same thing in your interactions, including saying “My pleasure” when someone thanks you for something you gave them.
Let them give you the gift of appreciation and receive their joy.
Honor their appreciation with your genuine and authentic ability to receive it.
Mutual benefit is key in building relationships
Relationships that have the greatest chance for long-term success are the ones where there is mutual benefit. Giving and receiving flows freely and easily.
If you are networking, looks for those relationships where there is commonality but not competition.
In your current relationships, look to see where you have common interests but different perspectives.
If you are not in a position to give, think about what kinds of resources you might be able to give. Sometimes this could be a YouTube video you just watched that a connection may find valuable. Or a podcast, book, article, etc. There is always something of value that you can find and give to someone else.
See Ivy Exec’s article for more ideas on how to add value while networking.
Giving creates infinite possibilities when we stop controlling how we give
Giving with strings attached is not giving. Asking for a quid-pro-quo is not giving.
It’s an exchange.
To truly give means to give and not ask for anything in return. You have to let go of any desired outcome or expectation when you authentically, truly give.
Because giving creates more space in The Universe for you to receive.
Imagine that by giving and not asking for anything to return, you’ve opened an energetic spot in your life for The Universe to replenish.
You have no idea how or when or even if it will be replenished but you give anyways.
Your brain’s capacity to understand all of the intricacies of life is severely limited.
The Universe is limitless.
If you plan and force The Universe to bend to your will and place expectations and stipulations on how you are to receive, you cut off unlimited options.
Which is why the next realization is so important.
Faith is a cornerstone of the giving/receiving cycle
To truly, authentically give, you have to have Faith in The Universe’s desire and ability to provide for you. This Faith can be very difficult to cultivate if you’ve had a hard life filled with challenges and disappointment.
Part of my own Faith journey has been to look back on those times that I thought that The Universe didn’t provide and question my story.
Is that thinking true?
Every single time, the story I’ve been telling myself about The Universe has been a lie. It did provide for me, just not in the way my Ego expected.
When we “let go and let God” absolutely magical things can happen, and it all starts with improving how we give and receive.
I really appreciated “The Go-Giver” and don’t have much in the way of a critique.
The only thing I wish the book had was more of an implementation guide. The authors do mention this at the end of the book and wrote another book “Go-Givers Sell More” which is supposed to provide more detail on how to implement the lessons in “The Go-Giver” into your life.
Where to Buy
Send me a message and let me know what you thought of “The Go-Giver.”
May You Be Well & May You Find Peace
The Go-Giver: A Little Story About a Powerful Business Idea
Read "The Go-Giver" if you want to create unlimited possibilities and opportunities. It will transform your thinking about giving and receiving.
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