Have you ever had a day when nothing goes right?
I just had a weekend like that.
- Both of my computers suddenly stopped working.
- My toddler son stopped sleeping through the night.
- I found a hole in one of my expensive sweaters.
- I broke my favorite headphones.
- I lost my beloved Garmin watch.
- I lost a sentimental trinket.
The Universe was relentless in its message: “You have no control”
I’ve been gripping for control lately. I’ve been feeling like I cannot find solid ground. Everything is chaotic and rapidly changing.
Some days I feel like I cannot even catch my breath.
Normally experiencing that much loss in such a short period of time would send me into a tailspin.
Victim mindset would abound.
- Why me?!
- I don’t deserve this?!
- Why is all my favorite stuff being attacked?!
Normally, I’d go on a splurge and use money to make myself feel better. I’d practice the “let’s just throw money at my problems and make them all go away.”
Unfortunately, while doing that makes me feel better for the short-term, I end up feeling a great sense of shame over the long-run. Also, money can replace some of the things that I lost, the feelings of loss still remain. And it’s the feelings that trigger the victim mindset for me.
In this moment, I questioned my thinking – I asked myself “Are those stories true?”
The answer at first was yes, then I asked again and got a maybe, and I kept asking until I found a NO.
If the “why is all of my favorite stuff being attacked?!” isn’t true, then what is?
I really love this graphic from Mindful.org which I’ve now put on my wall to remind me to challenge my thoughts.
That question opened the door for me to see that I actually have two options.
More importantly, I realized that clinging to my victim mindset limits me. It prevents me from seeing other options because I’m so committed to everything happening TO me that I can’t see any other ways to exist.
And if everything happens TO you, how will you ever find peace?
Your 2 Options – Keep Your Story or Write a New One
Here’s the lesson I’ve learned lately:
Life is nothing more than a big giant story and YOU get to write it.
I don’t like the story where The Universe is the villain and I’m the victim.
I want to write a different one.
One where The Universe is benevolent and is clearing things out of my life and making room for something different.
Both are equally true right? The Universe can be both. It’s just a matter of perspective.
I lost a great deal of my favorite things this weekend.
I got really sad. I felt the sadness.
I let myself feel upset. I let myself grieve.
And then I let go.
I felt the wisdom of my emotions using these tips and I accepted that I cannot control what happens, but I can control the story.
And I can experience how I feel about that story.
So what started with tears and a closed, angry fist cursing The Universe.
Ended with a chuckle and an open palm, ready to receive.
And that openness is where I released my anger, frustration and shame and found peace.
When you have a day that doesn’t go “right”, how have you handled it?
Let me know in the comments!
More Support for When Nothing Goes Right
For more support with Victim Mindset be sure to take a look at The Conscious Leadership Group’s content. They have excellent resources for how to identify and shift out of victim mindset and open yourself to the many other options that life has available to you.
Want one-on-one support to help you question your thoughts and develop a more loving, deeper relationship with your money? Schedule a free 30 min discovery call and let’s see if working together might be the right next step for you.